Carly Findlay, a young Australian woman, affected by Erythroderma and Netherton syndrome, has endured the daily stares and insensitivity of strangers, for as along as she can remember. She has walked the unpaven path of rare disease and experienced a side of life that many people will never know – and still yet, Carly greets each day with an open-armed optimism, and an enviable zest for life.
FIRST has been following Carly as she courageously and candidly shares her experiences, and her resonating words of wisdom. Her weekly blog takes us to the most unexpected places – switching the lights on and opening our eyes to not only a whole new side of the world, but a new side of life. Carly’s side of life: the bright side.
Today, we are delighted to have Carly Findlay share the secret of her optimism and her fool proof recipe for resilience:
I present with a red face, a sore body and scales that leave snowflakes on every surface – it’s ichthyosis – if you want to be really specific, it’s a diagnosis of erythroderma at birth and Netherton syndrome at age 10. I also present with a sunny disposition, a positive “this is just how it is” attitude, a zest for life, big ambitions and strong work ethic, and a loud laugh. I don’t so much notice the stares anymore – my friends and family do. I tell them “keep walking, don’t worry about the stares.” And we do. The stares don’t stop me. I’m confident enough to hold my head up high.
I get asked a lot about my level of positivity and resilience , despite my ichthyosis. Doctors, colleagues, other people with a wide range of disabilities, parents, audiences I write and speak for – they all ask. Some have told me they could not face the world if they were in my skin.
I think it comes down to being raised by very encouraging parents, and having a strong sense of self worth and acceptance of my ichthyosis. This is the life I’ve been given and I’m going to live it to the full. It’d be tiring to let the hard times get to me. I’d be lost without a full life. I believe happiness is a choice, and with happiness there’s hope. I’ve chosen to make the best of what may have been a difficult situation.
As a child, it was hard. I tell young people and parents of babies and young children with ichthyosis this. And then I tell them that it gets better. I want to show people that life can be pretty good living with a visible difference.
I can have a big laugh at myself (and the funny situations when people ask me what happened to me). Living with ichthyosis is pretty funny. When I traveled to America, I had four members of the LAX bomb squad come to investigate my jar of prescribed paraffin because they thought it was a safety threat (despite a letter from my dermatologist and liaison with the airline prior to my trip). It was hard not to laugh!
I also have the following tips for staying positive, (as originally provided to FIRST member DeDe Fasciano and posted to her blog, http://ouryoungwarriorevan.blogspot.com):
- Try not to compare yourself with others (or parents, don’t compare your kids with other kids). Your progress is your own. You may look different but you’re perfectly you.
- Have a good relationship with your doctor. Hopefully you’ll be seeing a dermatologist. If you’re not, ask your general practitioner to refer you to one immediately. See them regularly. Listen to their advice, but also let them know you want a say in your treatment. You’ll know what feels best for you. As you grow up, you’ll get to know your skin pretty well.
- Try to stretch yourself as you mature. Get out there and have a go – play sports (though this is my least favorite thing!), join a group like cubs or girl guides, sing in a band. You’ll make heaps of friends and learn new skills. The best thing I did was get a part time job in a department store age 17. Working in a public role helped me become more confident, and it also forced me to answer questions about my skin in a calmer and more professional way. I made life long friends at this job. I wished I’d started working earlier.
- Find a support group. Your local hospital may run one. You may find one online. You need not even talk about your ichthyosis – you may want to just talk about your interests. Remember though, everyone’s experiences are different and what works for your friend in the support group may not work for you – check with your doctor before trying something new. And don’t let others’ issues with their illness bring you down. Surround yourself with positive people
[Carly Findlay lives in Australia. She is an award winning writer, documenting what it's like to live with ichthyosis and a visible difference. She sometimes speaks to a large audience, presents on community TV and does the odd radio show. She says the best part of having ichthyosis is that paraffin and constant skin renewal keeps her looking 23! Ichthyosis is better than any anti-ageing product.
Read Carly's blog at http://Carlyfindlay.blogspot.com]